Seven Ways to Put Jesus First - Part 7 - In Your Relationships

Today, I have finished this series, over the last seven weeks, this is the seventh part. We have been doing a seven part series about seven ways to put Jesus first. The whole heart of this series has been built around that famous scripture, Matthew chapter six verse thirty three: “But seek first His Kingdom and His righteousness and all these will be given to you also.” In other words, what Jesus is saying is what you do first determines what God does with the rest. When the root of the tree is healthy, then the whole tree will be healthy. When we put God first, our lives are most blessed. So, it has been a practical stewardship series about looking at different areas of our lives, and saying Jesus by faith, I want to put you first in my heart which means first in my decisions. We looked at “Jesus, how do we put you first in my day?” And I am trusting that many of you have been cultivating that habit of the first, twenty minutes of your day. Out with a cup of coffee, out with your Bible, the note book and a pen. To say Jesus, I want to connect with you. What we do with the first, determines what God does with the rest. We looked at putting Jesus first in our week, this thing called the church, gathering together as believers, to not just receive, but to worship God and serve each other.

Prioritising what Jesus prioritises. We looked first in our finances. How the first part we give to God, we can entrust the rest to Him. We looked at first in our workplace, the challenge of bringing in our faith, our Christianity into what sometimes seems to be a dark and difficult place to be a Christian. We looked at first in our body, and it is great to see some of you running this week. Some folk has decided it is time to break a bad habit, and it is good to see God honouring and stirring people’s faith. We finish off today with probably the most challenging one of them all. Before I get to, I want to ask you this question. How is the evangelism going? Have you ever felt to be stirred to become more effective at sharing your faith? If you have, there is good news today, I have some helpful tips. I want to share with you, by way of introduction, the five top rated methods of evangelism from the nineteen eighty’s.

1.      Stuff bill payment envelopes with Gospel tracts. That way, when people open them, they expect bad news, and get good news instead.

2.      Place gospel tracts under car windshields. After all, who can drive with a tract staring them in the face?

3.      Give away photo copies of articles from Christian magazines. Because passing out photo copies is a good way to distribute ‘I wish I did say that’ articles. You know the kind of thing that says just the right things in just the right ways.

4.      Go door to door, hanging Gospel tracts on door knobs. But remember do not place them in mailboxes, because that is a federal offense.

5.      Leave Gospel tracts in conspicuous places. Do you take the bus to work or school? If so, leave a tract on the seat when you exit, and the next person will no doubt read it. After all, what else is there to do on a bus?

So there we have it, the nineteen eighty’s top five methods of evangelism. But this is a thing now, it is better than doing nothing, But if God be thinking about something Jesus once said. He was meeting with His disciples, he has been teaching them, and He finished off talking with His disciples with this line, He said; “By this will all men will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another. Jesus was giving them a strategy; this is the badge I want you to wear. This is the screensaver I want you to have in your life. This is the bumper sticker I want you to wear. What was it, what was the sign that Jesus wanted us to display to the world? “By this all men will know that you are my disciples if you love one another.” John wrote it like this in John chapter thirteen verses thirty four and thirty five, “A new commandment I give you, love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this all men will know that you are my disciples if you have love one to another.” What I want to look at today, habit number seven is putting Jesus first in our relationships.

 Because all of us, we relate all day every day, we are surrounded by people and we relate to people. And I believe that one of the greatest habits we could do, when the greatest challenges through our faith, is to relook at our relationships and say Jesus, I want to put you first in every relationship. Some relationships are easy; some relationships are not so easy. But I need to those relationships by faith by faith; I want to put you first. And it means to put Jesus first in a relationship, I believe it means this; choosing to love them. And we are going to take apart a passage today, a beautiful passage of scripture and try to understand what exactly do you mean, Jesus when you say love as I have loved you. So the passage we are going to look at this morning in 1John chapter four verses seven to twelve: “⁷ Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. ⁸ Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. ⁹ This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. ¹⁰ This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. ¹¹ Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. ¹² No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us.”

It is a beautiful passage, a little bit complicated, but we are going to take it apart and begin to look at what Jesus was meaning? What was John trying to get about Jesus’ love. So, here is the first thing. What exactly does this love, this love that comes from God, God is love, what does that love mean? And they ask a question, especially in English, we have this one word love, but it covers the whole range of things. For example, I love my wife, I love ice cream, I love my boys, I love the sharks, a local rugby team. But the fact is I use the same word, I mean my wife, my kids I will lay my life for them, ice cream and sharks, no. Even though I have the same word describing how I like this and like that, that one word love carries a wide range. What does Jesus mean? In verse nine, there are a couple of things, He said this: John said that God showed His love for us. The thing about God’s love, that supernatural love of God, is a practical love. I love the fact that God shows His love. He could have been in heaven, and mankind on earth below, and He wants to let man know that He loves us, and imagine, He could break out through a rainbow from heaven with angelic singing; we just called to say we love you.

 But God did not do that. God did not just send a love letter or a song, God sent Jesus. Not just send Jesus, He demonstrated the love of God is practical. So when the Bible says putting Jesus first in a relationship is to love one another, it is going to be practical. It is not just carrying something in your mind and your heart; it is living in a certain way. Now, I am sure many of you have heard that word in 1 Corinthians chapter thirteen passage, which describes love, it says: “Love is patient. Now, that is practical, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud it is not rude. It is not self – seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs, and love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, and always perseveres.” The love that this speaks about is practical. When Paul described it, he said; I want to show you the most excellent way. And he began to describe love. He did not say I am going to show you the most excellent emotion, he said I am going to explain or show you the most excellent way.

 God’s love is practical. Secondly, God’s love it shows in verse nine, God showed His love by sending His Son. In John chapter three, it says: “God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son.” This love that God has is a giving love. And I say that because some of the ways we can confuse the word love, is because so many times we say we love something or someone, but what it really says is we like what it does for us. I love ice cream because it is hot, and those MacDonald’s cheap cones are so nice. What I am saying is that often times are the love we use is the love of receiving, but God’s love is the love of giving. God’s love is practical, God’s love is giving. The third thing about love is what challenges me the most. We read in the scripture where it says this is not love, but that God loves us and he sent His Son for us. Now, ponder on that, what you mean that this is not love God, we do love you. Here is what I feel God saying: Love is not really love when it is just a response to love. The love that God is talking about is where there is no response, you love a vacuum. Think about that for a moment. It is quite easy to, I know that Steve loves me, and it is easy to love him, it is easy. But what about loving someone when there is no response.

 That is why Jesus say, you love your enemies. That is when you love into a vacuum where you are not getting love back. That is why Jesus said that if you just love those who love you, then what credit is that to you, even sinners do that. This love of God is a love that would love into a vacuum. Even when it is not getting anything back, that is unconditional love. So many times, our love is conditional. If you are nice to me, if you will love me, I will love you back. That is not what we are talking about. To put Jesus first in a relationship means to love, to let the world know is a love that is just giving. Sacrificing and not wanting or giving something in return. Verse ten; “But this is love, God gave His one and only Son to die for us.” That is sacrificial, that means there is a cost involved, and this is the challenge. To love in a way that is sacrificial, means we are giving more than we are getting. My challenge, what does it mean to practically put Jesus first in every relationship? I believe it means the challenge is this; I want to make sure that I am giving more than I am receiving in every relationship. Sometimes, people will treat you well, so treat them even better. I want to make sure of this relationship, I am giving more than I am getting. I want to out give and out love. That is the love of God that we are called to. Is it possible? No, it is not.

Certainly not by us, because the fact is the human heart is predisposed towards selfishness and getting. But the good news of the Gospel is that because of what Jesus did, is he ascended. We quote that scripture about baptism, and you will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit. Here is the amazing truth. When our lives and we allow our lives to be filled and empowered, by God with His Spirit, He poured His love into our hearts, which enables us to begin to love the people around us, even our enemies. The source of God’s love, remember Peter when he walked up to the temple, and the beggar said please give me something. Peter said silver and gold I do not have, but what I do have, I give. In other words, if we are going to put Jesus first in our relationships, and love them with a supernatural love, we will never be able to do that if we do not have it on the inside. First, we have to be receiving and full of that supernatural love so that it can overflow to the people around us. The source of that love, verse seven said; “Let us love one another because love comes from God.” And then it says, God is love. This is not a human love; this is a supernatural, divine love.

 Listen to a few verses in 1 John chapter verse nineteen: “¹⁹ we love because he first loved us. ²⁰ Whoever claims to love God yet hates a brother or sister is a liar. For whoever does not love their brother and sister, whom they have seen, cannot love God, whom they have not seen.²¹ and he has given us this command: Anyone who loves God must also love their brother and sister.” In other words, if we are going to walk in this supernatural love, it starts with open wide our hearts saying God, I do not know why you want to love me, but I am going to let you love me. And risking it all by surrendering our hearts to Christ and saying; let the glory of His love wash over us. Wash though our hurt, through our pain, through all those things and just allowing likes an empty reservoir just to be filled afresh. We were designed to be loved by God, and there are so many people who are so distant from God. So many people have been hurt and have blocked their hearts, closed them up, it starts with opening our hearts in faith and trust saying; “God, I am going to receive your love.” We love because He first loved us. Romans chapter five verse five says: “⁵ And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.” This is a prayer I pray often saying, “God, please pour your love into my heart so that I can love you at times.”

You know what it is like, there are times when you might have someone in your life where you think; “God, I do not think I can ever love this person.” That is when a verse like this is so powerful. You say; “lord, will you pour your love into my heart for that person.” Do you know what happens? God answers that prayer. God will begin to fill your heart with His supernatural divine love. That is why you can love our enemies. That is why you can forgive those who have hurt or abused us. Because the divine love of God fills our hearts for them. Galatians chapter five verse twenty two, as we were singing that song about; “Come Holy Spirit, fall afresh on me, invade my life.” What happens is, the more we yield and surrender to His spirit, it says it yields fruit, and the fruit of the spirit. Galatians chapter five verse twenty two: “²² But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, GOODNESS, faithfulness, ²³ gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.” In other words, just allowing the soil of our hearts to be watered by the Holy Spirit, He wells up and produces fruit in our lives. That is the source of this love. But the other thing this passage teaches us is that this ability to love people, not just close family members when it might be easy, but this ability to love strangers, to love enemies, to love even those who do not love you back, is actually the kind of a water mark.

The sign of authenticity, that you really do have a relationship with God. This might sound quite harsh, but my conviction is, let us rather have a wakeup call this side of heaven rather than one day when you get to heaven and you are knocking on the door, and you wonder why you are not let in. Because John was very strong about this, he said three things; he said in 1 John chapter four verse seven: “⁷ Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. ⁸ Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.” That is the sign, some people say I am a Christian because I go to church, or I am going to heaven one day because I was dedicated, no, the Bible says everyone who loves is born of God. This is the sign that this born again experience has happen. Have you ever seen it in someone’s life when they used to be grumpy and horrible, nasty and rude. But when they have an encounter with Jesus, their hearts are changed. I can remember in my own life, years ago when I became a believer, something changed in the inside. I had to wrestle with arrogance and all of this kind of have to be this, and when Jesus changes the heart, I remember suddenly now there is a desire to actually love people. And to love the people of God, and to treat people kindly.

This is the sign that you are genuinely born again. But he carries on, he goes even deeper, He says: “Everyone who loves is born of God and knows God.” You might have had a genuine born again experience, but you might have drifted in your relationship with God. The fact of the matter is, I can tell how good your relationship with Jesus simply by this; everyone who loves knows God. In other words, that knows God is not you know some things about God that means you have a relationship with Jesus. The closer your relationship, the more you will love people around you. The distinguishing mark of a Christian, a mature believer, is not that they can quote lots of scriptures, or they have done lots of courses, is that they can love supernaturally. They can love the unlovely, they can love their enemies, they can love those who have hurt them, they can love into a vacuum. That is a sign of a mature believer. And the third example he gives in verse seven and eight: “Whoever does not love does not know God because God is love. “ I want us to be honest before God and the Holy Spirit this morning. You might have been someone who has been to church for years, you have done the Christian thing, but this is what God’s word says: “If you are not able to love, then you do not know God.” Let us rather get our relationship right this morning, let us not leave, let us rather take the word, let it rather cut our hearts if need be.

And say; “I have been doing religious stuff, but actually, there is no love in my heart for people around me.” If that is you this morning, let me urge you and beg you, make right with God so that His love will invade your heart again. So, why is it such a big thing to God? Why is this thing about supernatural love, why is that the badge for the believer? The last thing I want to pull out from this passage, is when we put Jesus in our relationship, it is so powerful and important. Firstly, because this is the very best way of letting the world knows what our God is like. I love the scripture says; “No one has ever seen God, but if we love one another.” Think about that for a moment, it says no one has seen God, but if we love one another. What is the implication? The implication is if we serve an invisible God, He can be made visible through us when we love one another. The best glimpse that people can get of what Jesus is like. What our Father is like is when the saints of God love supernaturally. You love into a vacuum, they love the unlovely, they love their enemies, they love where there is no love. They step into that and show forth the love of God, and people get a glimpse of what God is like. I had a small example, some of the guys are doing outstanding work at the municipality, and we run a service there for the homeless people on a Sunday.

You are welcome to join them anytime from one o’clock to two o’clock at the municipality. But one of the men, as he came to salvation, he was living on the streets, he came out of drugs and he had nowhere to go, and we did not want to send him back onto the streets because he would just fall back into his drug habit. So, Barnard organized him a room, and we paid the rent, but the beautiful part of the story is the landlady of those particular rooms, when he saw this guy coming in and paying the rent so that he can get this homeless guy into a room, her testimony was; “I want that guy to come and pray for me, I want to go to his church because I want to serve his God. It is powerful when that happens. When we display this supernatural love to the world, it gives people a glimpse of what our God is like. The second thing that makes it so powerful, he says; “No one has ever seen God, but if we love one another, God lives in us.” I love the fact that as we walk in the love of God, we experience more of the life of God. There is an adventure when you step out in faith to love the unlovely, to love your enemies, to love when there is no love coming back; it is as if you feel the very life of God bubbling up inside of you. Jesus said the enemy comes to rob, kill and destroy, but I have come that you may have life and have abundant life. I think we get to really taste that life when we are stepping out in supernatural love.

And God wants us to experience the power of His life inside us. And the last part of the verse, it says; “God loves in us and His love is made complete in us.” I have this theory that we can maybe only experience half of God’s love just by receiving. By letting God love us, and God’s love is huge, I am not downplaying just how much love that is. But if you want to experience the fullness of God’s love, we have to move from just accepting His love o start expressing His love. In other words, you are not just receiving, but now you are letting His love flow through you. The beautiful thing is as you become a channel of God’s love to others; His love is made complete in us. We get to taste, see and experience and enjoy the wonder of God’s love simply letting it flow thought us to the people around us. This is why love is so important to our God. Let me wrap up very, very practically, what does it mean as we walk out this morning? You want to put Jesus first in our relationships, number one, it is going to mean you have to stay connected to the source. Your cell phone is not much use to you if you do not recharge it often. Exactly the same way, as the battery goes flat, in the same way, that supernatural love, if it is not continually topped up, we are going to run out of it. So, we need to stay closely connected to the source.

Matthew chapter three verse seventeen: “A voice from heaven said this is my Son whom I love and with Him I am well pleased.” We need to hear that often. Are you just reading your verse every morning, or are you allowing the voice of the Father to remind you just how much He loves you. Two, do not wait to be loved, prepare you to love into a vacuum. Jesus said in Luke thirty two: “If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? Even sinners love those who love them. “I want to challenge you this morning, to go towards those relationships where you are not going to get love, or you are not experiencing love back and begin to love into them. Let me give you an example. The Bible says to husbands. Husbands love your wives as Christ loves the church. That kind of love. So, husband you might be thinking I am sick of trying to love this woman because she does not love me back. No, that is when you step in saying God; fill me with the supernatural love. Wives, you might be thinking, the Bible says wives, respect your husband. You say I will respect him when he acts respectable, respect is to be earned; it says so in the Bible. No, it does not. It just says wives, respect your husbands. You might think how can I? This is how; “God, will you pour out your love in my heart by the power of your Holy Spirit, and I am going to express love to my husband by respecting him. That is what I am talking about.

It is by faith by putting Jesus first in our relationship; it means walking out the Goad might allow supernatural love of God. What about an enemy? What about someone who has hurt you? Or someone who is just awful towards you? You might have one of those kind of relationships, it might be your boss, it might be just someone. Here is a thing. God might allow that relationship so that you can learn love. I want us to repent today, I want us to come before God and say God, forgive me for being nasty where there is nastiness. Forgive me for not loving because I am not getting love. Today, I want to put you first in every relationship, would you fill my heart with a supernatural love so that I can love into that vacuum. That is what Jesus said. You have said that it is said, love your neighbour and hate your enemy. But I tell you love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you that you may be sons of your Father in heaven. The greatest sign of not loving is unforgiveness and bitterness. You might have every reason why you have not forgiven. And you are thinking: “If you knew what they have done to me, you will know why I could never forgive.” You can forgive. It was very costly; Jesus paid His life to forgive us. I am not saying that forgiveness is easy, but it is a supernatural love of God expressed through us. Number three, we have to radically repent of love killers. Those things that just put out the flame of supernatural love.

 I mentioned just a couple, one is pride. Pride is a me first mentality. The supernatural love of God is always others first mentality. What about selfishness? Selfishness is me and my wants first. No, the love of God always puts others first. Bitterness is simply, they do not love me mentality. They have done this, they have hurt me. The love of God Loves into a vacuum, even if it is not being loved. The habit of putting Jesus first in our relationship means the habit of loving one another the way Jesus loves us. It is tough, almost impossible without a close connection with the Holy Spirit and faith in Jesus. I want to ask you this. Are you willing to put Jesus first into every relationship in your life? Imagine the impact that we as a church we have in our city, that region, into the nations, each one of us decided that when I walk out of here today, I am walking out with Jesus first in every relationship. 

Outlook Church

Senior Pastor: Brent Brading

Website: Outlook Church