The Grace Zone - Part 6

If you have been a part of the church for a while, you know that we have been working through the book of 1Peter. Peter was the fisherman who became that great apostle. Peter was this man who encountered Jesus, and everything changed. When we come to the cross of Jesus, everything changes, our destinies can never be the same again. One of the great joys about preaching through a book in the Bible, is it take you through to certain scriptures that you sometimes you would not preach about. Some scriptures are easy to preach about, you preach about the wonder of Jesus and His forgiveness and His love and it’s glorious. The beauty about preaching through the book of the Bible is that in the beginning of most of the epistles, the letters, there is a rich theology about Jesus. And what He has called us to, and who He is, and then the Bible or the book begins to switch around to how we respond. Peter has been writing up to now in his book of 1Peter, he has been speaking about who we are, “We are a chosen people. You are a royal priesthood, a holy nation.” And God has chosen you. You are aliens, strangers. You are called to shine; we are called to be this New Testament temple. This beautiful building, representing God here on earth. Jesus has done the work, He has changed us, transformed our destiny. Peter is writing that because Christians in those days were going through some tough times. They were facing persecution, they were facing hardship, and Peter was trying to put some courage inside them, to say even when the going is tough, I want you to experience the grace of God. God’s grace is an amazing thing.

The whole theme of the book which he speaks about right at the end, he says “I write all these things to encourage and to testify that this is the truth of God now stand fast in it.” And when we stand and what we call it, I call it the grace zone. It’s like a shower; you can reach up and turn the shower on and the water falls. But that’s not showering; you actually have to step under and into the zone to get wet. And the same thing, you can look from a distance sometimes and say: “Oh, that is what God’s Word says, but I’m standing here.” But what Peter is saying is: “I want you to get into the grace zone.” And Peter’s encouragement is; there is a place in the midst of suffering. There is a place in the midst of hardship, there’s a place in the midst of life called the grace zone, and he wants us to stand there. Sometimes we understand it, and sometimes we don’t. The beauty about faith is that you only really understand something once you have stepped into it. Jesus says to those who were following His word, He said: “Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” Not when you study it academically from a distance, but when by faith you step into His word. Not knowing how it’s going to turn out, but you step in by faith, and then you begin to realize the grace of God that sustains and strengthens. I say all that to set us up for today’s word. Today I want to speak to the wives, next week I want to speak to the husbands. Peter used some strong words, and some strong imagery to catch the understanding of God’s heart for marriage. Marriage is under huge attack. Marriage is something that God designed before the fall. It made it right through the fall, and still exists as a testimony of covenant, a testimony of the relationship that God wants with mankind. I’m going to do things a bit different today. What I’m going to do is slowly read through this passage, and  I trust that God’s word, and the anointing of God’s word would minister to you, and encourage you, and hopefully break some mind sets, hopefully challenge some of us to repentance, so that we can walk in the fullness of what God’s plan is.

1Peter chapter 3, it starts off by saying: “Wives.” Men, that does not mean you take out your phone and begin to Facebook. Don’t, because the reality is that next week I will be speaking to the husbands. And one of the things that it says to the husbands, it says: “husbands, I want you to be considerate of your wives.” And that means, husbands, I want you to understand the thinking that’s going on inside your wife. If you miss this episode, you are going to miss some of the thinking that your wife is going through. In other words Men, listen carefully, asks God to give you an understanding of what it means to be a biblical wife, because that will help you to be a better biblical husband. Young men, we had a couple of them in the first service this morning. What God points out here is going to be God’s picture of what marriage and wifing should look like. When you are young, you could be attracted purely by outer beauty, but what God is going to reveal in His word today, is inner beauty. And as young men, even if you are not married yet, the more you can understand what it means to be a biblical wife, you will know what to look for in a future wife. So, if you are an unmarried man today, listen carefully, because wants to teach you, prepare you to look for in a future spouse.

But what about if you are an older lady, and you have been married, maybe you lost a spouse somewhere along the way, does that refer to you? Absolutely. What the bible teaches us, in 1Timothy, it says to the older ladies among you, your job is to train the younger women on how to love their husbands. So, young ladies need training on how to love their husbands. You might think it comes naturally, but it doesn’t. Just like you train soccer team, or you train someone to bake and cook, young ladies need to be trained on how to love their husbands well. So, what that means, if you are an older lady today, God’s call is still on your life regarding marriage. That means, when you sit in family group, or you spend time with other ladies from the church who are married, you should be watching. Because at times you will see things happening that is not according to God’s word, and those are those words you should say: “Honey, we should have tea together.” And you pull your dearie aside and you say: “I want to speak to you about marriage and share some of the things I’ve learnt along the way.” That’s actually God’s plan for you, so you need to listen carefully, because this reveals God’s plan for marriage. What about the younger ladies. Maybe you’re not married yet. Well, this is very relevant for you, because you don’t just get your driver’s licence. You get your learner’s licence First.

 Before they release you on the roads, they expect you to have some training and understanding and experience. I think you should have a learner’s licence for marriage also. Before you qualify for a marriage, you should have to pass your learner’s licence. For some of them is starting marriage, and then get to thinking: “Oh heck, how do we do this thing?” Actually, now is the time to learn. Now is the time to practice. And some of the things I want to talk about today. Attitudes and heart attitudes. You can practice them on your dad. You can practice them on your other friends. Male friends that you learnt to respect that you are getting to know, or potential future husbands. But it is speaking to wives. Wives, you are the primary focus today. Peter’s wife did not write this. He didn’t ask his wife to write this part of this chapter, because this is not a wife’s suggestions, or wife’s advice to other wives. Peter wrote this, not even as a husband, although he was a husband, Peter wrote this as an apostle of the Lord Jesus Christ right in scripture. And I want you to receive it that way today. This is God’s word. Some of the things today, are contrary and different to the cultural and society norms that you face day by day. Some of this may be very different to what you read in Cosmopolitan, or Vogue, or any other magazines. Some of this is very different to what you hear from Oprah, or the latest talk show host. I want you to remember this is God’s word.

Sometimes we encounter things in scripture that the flesh inside us wants to kick against. I want to encourage you by saying, you are not alone. Do you know that even Jesus Christ, the Son of God, at one point, the will of God, He came up against it, and He found himself crying out the Father, He says: “Father, is there any other way that we can do this.” And it says three times, He fell on His knees and He cried out to God saying: “God surely, isn’t there another way? Can’t we twist Your will? Can’t we go for plan B?” And eventually there is a breakthrough in His heart, He said: “Not my will, but let Your will be done.” Some of the things we are going to mention today might cause your flesh to kick, and my encouragement to you is wrestling it through. Jacob wrestled with God. He said: “God, I’m not going to let go of You until You bless me.” And God was delighted with him, He said: “That’s no problem, I can go a few rounds with you.” And they wrestled this out, and God blessed him. Ladies, if you find yourself wrestling with what I say today, and that’s why I’m praying and hoping it’s going to be me speaking, I’m just going to read God’s word to you and make some comments. If you are going to wrestle, that’s ok, wrestle it with God. But don’t let go until God’s blessing comes upon you. Is that okay? So wives, it says: “In the same way, be submissive to your husbands.” Now that little phrase that says in the same way, I don’t want to talk about that now, but I’m going to comment on it a little bit later on. But I do want to say this right now. In a week’s time, I’m going to be addressing your husband. So, I want to encourage you make sure to bring your husband here. Just say: “honey, there is free cake afterwards or something.” But what we are going to notice, when I speak to your husband next week, it says: “Husbands, in the same way.”

 So all I’m going to speak about today, actually we are going to see amazing similarities next week also. Submission is not just something a wife does; it’s something a husband does also in a different way. So, we’ll get back to that little comment again in a moment. “Wives, in the same way, be submissive to your husbands.” Just like superman doesn’t like kryptonite, some wives don’t like the word submission. It produces a reaction inside of them, it’s like something, it’s like I know none of you are like that here, but there are people out there who are like that. That word submission, if you think about any other sub word, like a submarine, a submarine goes under the water. A subway, that’s the train that goes under the city. Sub always has to do with coming under something else. So, the word submission means coming under someone’s mission. When God created Adam and Eve, He said to Adam: “Adam, I’m giving you a mission. Your job is to take care of planet earth. Name the animals, look after them, subdue them, and rule over them.” God realized quickly that Adam needs help. And, he created a helper called Eve, and her job was not here’s another mission, but rather you need to come into submission. In other words, you need to come under the same mission I have given your husband, so that together, you can get the job done. Not, husband here’s your mission, wife here’s your mission, off you go, but rather, Adam, and here your mission and I have given you a helper who will come into submission under that same mission so that together you can get the job done.

 It’s never about, you’re more important, so that you can rule over them like a skivvy. That was never God’s intention. Remember Adam was one. Out of Adam God took from the side, and take from his feet, took from his side, so that together they can fulfil the mission of God. It’s interesting the way Peter says it. He says: “Wives, I want you to be submissive. He doesn’t say wives you must submit, because to submit, that’s the action word. And to have a submissive heart should result in action, but you can have the action without the heart. He doesn’t say: ”Wives, submit to your husband, as in an outward action event, he goes even deeper, and he says wives, be submissive. By means of identity, by means who we are, defines our heart. Be defines what goes on in the inside, which results what happens on the outside. And God’s will is not just on the outside, yes honey I’ll do, no, God’s desire is that you catch what it means to live with a submissive heart. And we are going to look at the beauty and the power of that in a moment. I love the next part because it’s such an important aspect because it says: “wives in the same way, be submissive to your husbands so that.” So that means there’s a mission behind your submission. And that’s the title that I’m look at today. Ladies, I want you to catch this thing today. This is not a “Oh by the way ladies, this is what you have to do.” What I want you to catch this morning from God’s word is that God has a faith and response, or a faith and consequences step for you to take.

God’s calling on you is to be submissive to your husband so that something happens. When we speak about finance and giving, you say give and it will be given to you. In other words, as you take a step of faith giving, you can put out your faith to say: “I’m trusting you to receive a harvest. “ With your step of faith, and you receive fruitfulness from that. Exactly the same way, this is not just a blanket; this is what you have to do. What Peter is saying is no, I want you to be submissive to your husband so that something happens to your marriage, and this is what happens. It says so that they may be won over without words but by the behaviour of their wives. So that any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behaviour of their wives. We have to catch this. What Peter is saying here is incredibly powerful. He says God has given you a tool to win your husband over to the ways of God. Maybe that has been your prayers for years: “God. I want our home to be Godly, I want our home to reflect God’s goodness, and I have been trying to lector and nag my hubby for years, but that’s not going to work. God has given you a strategy right here on how to bring His government into your home, and it’s called this thing of submission. Here’s a powerful principle. If by faith you come under your husband’s authority, then supernaturally a door is opened for him to start coming under God’s authority. Here’s how faith, if by faith ladies, you choose to come in to get God’s authority right in your marriage, then what God is saying is watch what happens that I don’t open a supernatural door to them to bring in my authority of your husband. That’s what we have to peg our faith.

To give your husband the best chance of not just an unbelieving husband becoming a believing husband, but rather a husband who is not fully walking in God’s ways, to fully under God’s ways, what you could do? Come under his authority. Because as you by faith line up the authority in marriage, you can trust God to line up his authority into your husband’s life also. That’s going to grip our hearts because it will be tested. This one of those faith things. This one of those prayers God, give me strength, I’m going to have to fight off my flesh, and walk in this way, but I’m doing this God, because I’m believing as I walk in faith submitting to my husband, I’m trusting God, you are going to get a hold of him. That’s the beauty of the example we see of Jesus. Where it says in the beginning, in the same way, the way was the example of Jesus. Jesus came submitting to His Father’s plan by to submitting to the hands of men. And they took Jesus. They beat Him, insulted Him, and crucified Him, the one who is without sin carried the sin of the world. He did not retaliate, He did not fight back, and He submitted Himself to what they were doing. He suffered and He died. And an amazing thing, in verse twenty three, in the previous chapter, 1Peter two verse twenty he says: “When they hurled their insults at Him. He did not retaliate. When He suffered, He made no threats. Instead, He entrusted Himself to Him who judges justly. He Himself bore our sins in His body on the tree so that we might die to sins and live for righteousness. By His wounds have been healed. For you were like sheep going astray, but now you have returned to your shepherd and overseer of your souls.” Isn’t that beautiful?

 That’s Jesus’ example. He absorbed all of our wrongness to make room for God’s rightness. In the next words are; ”Wives, in the same way.” Does that mean that you have to absorb some of your husband’s wrongness at times? Yes. That means that sometimes you have to do things that are written in your heart you don’t really agree about, yes. But why? Because in your heart, you are saying: “God, if it means me absorbing some of this to make room in rightness and by faith, I can do it.” Do not believe the word; they may be won over without words by the behaviour of their wives, when they see. Here’s a thing, he said that submissive heart can win over your husband by your behaviour that that he seas. So this means that when you have a submissive heart, there’s a certain fruit that is seen in your lives. So, my question this morning is not, wives, how many are submissive, the question is to the husbands this morning. Husbands, how many see the fruit of submission in your wives life? The reality is, one wife said it like this once. I don’t have a struggle with submission, well, ninety five percent of the time, I don’t struggle with submission. What she is really saying is ninety five percent of the time, she agrees with her husband. It’s the five percent, that’s when submission in called for. You never know if you have a submissive heart or not until it’s called on to submit. Let’s have a look at these two characteristics that it mentions. When you see the purity and reverence of your lives. A submissive heart manifests itself in a certain purity in a wife. And I believe that purity speaks about a purity of motive. I heard one wife say once: “I know my husband is the head of our marriage, but I’m the neck that turns the head.”

 Now, that’s not what I’m talking about. That’s not a purity of motive. That is called manipulation. Manipulation is when in your motives, you will work whatever you have to ultimately get your own way. That means, you are carrying an agenda which is not pure, you are actually trying to do things your way all the time. The fruit of a submissive heart is a purity of motives. It is openness, and a transparency which is not trying to hide or cover up some kind of ulterior motive. It says the purity and reverence. Reverence speaks about that word respect. It speaks about honouring and respect. Later on, we will read about Sarah, the wife of Abraham, the father of faith. It says that Sarah called her husband master. The reality is you call your husband anyway. Some of that name you use out loud, some of those names you use to others, some of those names you keep to yourself in your mind. My question is, is the name you call your name respectful and honouring? When you have a submissive heart, it come out in our language, it comes out in our attitude in the way you deal with your husband. That’s the fruit, purity of motive, and an honouring of heart. Now, it’s such a key moment. Verse number three, it says: “You beauty shall not come from outward adornment such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewellery and fine clothes.” The context of what I want to talk about now is beauty. He introduces this into the subject and I want to say this boldly and unequivocally. When it comes to beauty, the most beautiful thing in the eyes of her husband is a wife with a submissive heart. I’m not ashamed to say this, I’m a man a husband, and I’m a bible believing believer. That’s what scripture now

 The world is obsessed with beauty and outward beauty. If you go across to the boardwalk shopping centre, and actually started counting the different shops, you would realize that a massive percentage of what goes on in the shopping mall is all dedicated to outward beauty. Its clothes shop after clothes shop, and shoes and handbags and make up. All of these is all about outward beauty. Why? The answer is this; beauty is incredibly important to a man. It’s just the way God has wired us. It’s not wrong. In fact, when Jesus comes back, He is coming back for His bride. A radiant bride without blemish or wrinkle. So, it’s not wrong for a man to desire beauty in a woman in his wife. But here’s a thing; the world gets that distorted and makes it all about outward beauty. I want to say ladies, one of the great ways that you can honour your husband, is by recognizing that beauty is a very important thing to him. And obviously, looking after yourself on the outside is not unimportant, but even more beautiful, and even more important, is the beauty that comes from inside. That is the beauty that God has chosen is unfading. It’s unfading in time, in other words, things don’t begin to sag in all the wrong places. That beauty doesn’t fade with the next fashion. As last year’s wardrobe has to be thrown for next year wardrobe. Actually, this beauty that God has designed is eternal and doesn’t fade.

 But it’s the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit which is of great worth in God’s sight. We spoke about outwardly, we see purity and reverence. That flows from a gentle and quiet spirit. Your spirit is that motivating thing inside you. The Holy Spirit comes, and he motivates our desires at real heart level. If you are going to walk in the fruit of purity and reverence, it’s going to flow from a heart motivated by these two things. Gentleness and a quietness of spirit. Gentleness is an incredibly powerful characteristic. The opposite of gentleness is forcefulness and aggressiveness. And that is normally your attempt at control. Gentleness is an understanding and a trust in faith in God in His ways. I love a couple of the Proverbs that that are written about gentleness. It says in Proverbs fifteen verse one says: “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” A gentle heart can absorb things, not react, and can turn away wrath. It says in Proverbs twenty five verses fifteen says: “Through patience a ruler can be persuaded, and a gentle tongue can break a bone.” Do you realize the power that is in this thing of gentleness? Not reacting, not being forceful, just gentleness, Jesus is described as being gentle. He describe himself: “Come lean from me, I’m gentle.” Gentleness is an incredibly powerful thing. A gentle and quiet spirit. A quiet spirit has nothing to do with your personality type. You might be extroverted; I’m married to a wife that’s much more extroverted than I am. So it’s not about the volume or the exuberance. To me, it’s a quiet spirit means a spirit at peace or calm. A settled spirit, I believe is what it’s speaking about here. An opposite of that would be an argumentative, disruptive, disgruntled spirit.

 Have a listen to what the great, wisest man before Jesus profoundly said one day in Proverbs twenty four, twenty four: “Better to live on the corner of a roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife.” That quarrelsomeness of spirit that always wants to manifest itself in argumentativeness. I want to get my own way. That is what produces so much chaos in a marriage. So, when you have a gentle and quiet spirit, it manifests itself into a purity and reverence, which is beautiful in the sight of God and a man. You might say: “I’m not a gentle and quiet person.” But you weren’t born with earrings either. You chose to put them on. You were not born with a beautiful dress on. You were born with hair, some of you, but you still have to take care of it. And brush it and braid it, whatever you do. Maybe you weren’t born with a gentle and quiet spirit, but in Christ, under the power of the Holy Spirit, just like any other fashion accessory, it’s something that you can put on and wear. And it says it’s great worth in God’s sight. We worship Jesus, and in heaven it says worthy is the lamb. Our worship is based on worthiness. God says here, this is great worth, it’s worthy in God’s eyes. I believe this is when the Father comes back, and says well done my good and faithful servant. He’s going to say this to some of you ladies, not for some great exploits you have done, it might be for the willingness to put on the fashion accessories of a gentle and quiet spirit that manifests itself in a purity and reverence and attitude.

 And so he wraps it up in verse five, he says: “For this is the way, for holy women of the past, who put their hope in God, used to make themselves beautiful. They were submissive to their own husbands like Sarah who obeyed Abraham and called him master. You are her daughters if you do what’s right and do not give way to fear.” I spent some time pondering what it must have been like to be Abraham’s wife. We always hear about Abraham, the man of faith. Called by God to leave your country and go to a place I will show you, the man who sacrificed his son, the father of our faith. Can you imagine what it was like to be his wife: “Honey, we’re leaving.” “Where are we going Abraham?” “I’m not really sure, I think God spoke to me and He said go into a distant country that I will show you along the way.” “Yes master. “ And somewhere along the way, obviously she was a beautiful woman, and they are passing a country and here’s the king, and the king takes notice of his wife and says: “Wow, she’s beautiful.” And Abraham says to Sarah: “Honey, I think the king might kill me, so I want you to say you’re my sister. He might take you as his wife and sleep with you, but let’s rather do it so that I don’t die. Is that okay?” “Yes honey.” Can you imagine when the plan was hatched “We’re not having this child, what if I just slept with your slave girl?” “Yes honey.” Can you imagine when Isaac was born, and he has this conversation with Sarah. “This little boy of ours, Isaac, I think God spoke to me again about offering him as a sacrifice on an altar.” “Yes honey.” Whenever you hear about Sarah, in terms of that, but do you know what happened? Is that she submitted to her husband because of her hope in God, and God turned them into our grandparents of our faith.

 God honoured her heart. It says you can become her daughters. Remember, Abraham had to kids. Hagar produced a child, Sarah produced a child. One was the child of promise; one was the child of law and fear. And you can become her daughters. This is about faith, this is not a legalistic you have to, this is when you catch a glimpse of Jesus, and you recognize what the gospel has done us Jesus. You submitted, and so you opened a way for me to have a relationship with the Father. I’m going to take this step of faith also. I’ve come to the conclusion after reading through that last line, it says: “You are her daughters if you do what’s right, and do not give way to fear.” I believe the biggest hindrance to walking with a submissive heart, is fear. Fear of not being in control, the fear of being in some ways some ways manipulated or controlled someone else telling you what to do. My question today is this: Do you trust your Heavenly, Father? Can you trust that through this step of faith, God can open a door for His authority to break into your home. That’s a woman of faith. Ladies, I want to leave you with a challenge. The concept here is about putting on beauty for your husband. I want to challenge you in a practical way. Every time you are involved in some way to beautify yourself, whether it’s make up, or hairy things, or whatever you do that’s about beautifying yourself. I want you in that moment to get in the habit of reminding yourself, remember what the most beautiful fashion accessory is. It’s the beauty of a submissive heart. This is God’s grace for all of us. Let’s stand in it.

Senior Pastor: Brent Brading

Web Address: www.outlookchurch.co.za